When I was a baby, my mother was taking a nap with me on the bed and when she woke up, I wasn’t there. Apparently I had fallen off the bed and rolled under it. I was still asleep when she found me.
When I was a kid, about 5 or 6, my mother would take me to work with her all the time. She was getting her PhD in agricultural engineering (if you’ll excuse me, I believe my Midwest is showing) and worked in a lab filled with chemicals and hazard signs. I vividly remember her telling me not to touch anything because the chemicals were so dangerous they would burn a hole through my skin. I think she demonstrated on a paper towel.
She biked me to elementary school one day in the pouring rain.
We were on the way to summer camp once when she got pulled over by a cop for running a stop sign, even though she actually did stop. He gave her a ticket, so she took him to court and won.
She breaks things a lot and tells horrible jokes and yells even when she’s not angry. She also puts my happiness above her own and tells me all the time how proud she is of me and sends me care packages because she thinks I don’t eat enough.
This is my mother. I love her and she’s perfect.
This is a public service announcement. You know those 3-ingredient cookies that have been floating all over Pinterest? Not the peanut butter ones (those are incredible), I’m talking about the ones with oats, bananas, and chocolate chips. They’re a lie. The cookie is a lie!
For starters – don’t call them cookies. Cookies are one of the most delightful treats known to man and they don’t deserve to have their good name sullied by being associated with these banana-oat patties. Call them oatmeal hockey pucks. Call them tastebud-killers. Call them life-ruiners.
And what did bananas, oats, and chocolate chips ever do to deserve such heinous mistreatment?
Most importantly, these fakers are disgusting. They’re so gross – both tasting and looking – to the point of being offensive and I die a little bit inside each time they get repinned. I totally understand that sometimes you get a cookie craving that cannot go unsatisfied and find that your pantry is completely empty, but do yourself a favor and just say no to these. These are a pathetic excuse for a cookie and eating one will only make you want the real thing more.
How about this, Pinterest – the next time I find myself with oats, bananas, and chocolate chips, how about I just MAKE A BOWL OF BANANA CHOCOLATE CHIP OATMEAL.
The reason I bring up these disgusting three-ingredient atrocities is because I have a real three-ingredient cookie recipe that is a cinch to whip up (if you have a stand or hand mixer) and actually tastes incredible.
Friends, if you are looking for cookies with the least amount of ingredients possible, look into meringues. It’s all in the egg whites, baby.
Happy National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day! Though it really should be every day. The only thing I love more than a classic grilled cheese (sharp cheddar and tomato on whole wheat bread) is a cookie, so naturally, I decided to combine the two.
I think I’ve been won over by gluten-free baking. Me, lover of gluten, self-confessed gluten groupie! I never thought I’d see the day. Of course, it’s all thanks to chocolate.
And there’s nothing better for a chocoholic than brownies. Much like with chocolate chip cookies, everyone has their own idea of how the texture of brownies should be, either cakey and crumbly, dense and fudgy, or moist and chewy. I am personally a fan of the latter two, though I’ll never say no to a cakey brownie.
Let’s be real – as long as there’s chocolate in it, I’m not turning it down.
A confession: I’ve never decorated sugar cookies. Like, really, legitimately, beautifully decorated them. As a child, I took canned frosting, slathered it on a cookie baked from store-bought cookie dough, and then threw some sprinkles on them and called it a day. But since I started reading food blogs and once I really got into baking, I knew cookie decorating was definitely on my baking bucket list.
So with Valentine’s Day coming up, I figured this would be the perfect occasion to kill two birds with one stone – finally tackle decorating sugar cookies and also try out that brush embroidery technique everyone’s been going nuts over on Pinterest.
I’m happy to report that 2 days later, logging a total of 12 hours, I have succeeded!
(Note to self: you are not Iron Man, you cannot run before you walk, and in fact should probably crawl first, or even just sit on your ass and think about the idea of movement before even attempting it, so the next time you try some newfangled baking thing, try to plan our your time a little better so you’re not up until 2 a.m. decorating cookies. Thank you for your cooperation. Sincerely, yourself.)
In a fit of stress baking thanks to the longest and worst week so far of 2013 (and it’s just three weeks in, which does not bode well for the rest of the year), I turned my freshly made rosemary walnut butter into cookies. Which made the week a tiny, microscopic bit better. At the very least, baking them in the toaster oven at work gave the office some serious aromatherapy, which turned out to be instrumental in preventing me from actually exploding this week.
There’s something rather magical about Spritz cookies. They’re from the German word “spritzen,” which literally means “to squirt,” which is exactly how you make these, by squirting the dough through a cookie press. I make these cookies every year around the holidays and it still blows my mind every singe time to see the dough push through the holes in the disc and transform into trees and flowers and other designs.
The dough for these cookies is a simple butter cookie dough, but my favorite recipe adds cream cheese to make them extra tangy and melt-in-your-mouth crumbly.
It’s that time of year again! The real start of holiday baking.
I can always tell when the holidays get here based on my contents of my pantry. Today, I counted not one, not two, not even three, but seven – SEVEN – bags of chocolate chips. I know chocolate chip cookies aren’t really a holiday cookie, but they’re one of my favorite cookies to gift because they’re such a classic. Around this time of year, I consider it a pantry staple so I pick up a bag every time I’m at the grocery, which explains how I have a couple pounds of chocolate in my fridge. And of course they’re all different brands – Hershey’s, Ghirardelli, Nestle – and different types of chocolate – milk, dark, semi, and bittersweet. Live like there’s no tomorrow, AM I RIGHT??
But I digress. Chocolate chip cookies are among my favorite to gift, but gingerbread cookies are probably my favorite to eat this time of year. They’re full of flavor but aren’t too sweet or heavy, so they’re a great light cookie for snacking on.
So it’s the last week before December and I’m in baking limbo. I always felt like Thanksgiving signaled the beginning of the holiday season, but it came early this year and threw everything out of whack. It’s still November, so do I continue baking with pumpkin? But Thanksgiving’s over, so do I move on to peppermint? These are the things that keep me up at night.
Enter the mighty ginger cookie. It’s probably technically more associated with Christmas, what with gingerbread and all, but I think it’s a pretty good transition cookie, with cinnamon and nutmeg for fall and ginger and cloves for winter.
I’ve never made a gluten-free cookie before, mainly because I always thought gluten was crucial for soft and chewy cookies. But these cookies totally sink that theory – they’re lighter-than-air soft, and most importantly, they stay that way. And with a plate of these cookies, limbo doesn’t seem so bad.
It’s time for hurricane baking! I realized last night that I am possibly woefully underprepared for this impending Frankenstorm that is about to descend upon the East Coast (stay safe everyone!), so I made these cookies and then promptly ate half the batch. They’re a soft sugar cookie made with cookie butter, and are the perfect treat for stress eating oneself into a coma.
Have you jumped on the cookie butter (also known as speculoos or biscoff spread) train yet? Because you really should. It’s basically peanut butter, but made from cookies, which is the most genius idea I’ve ever heard. Its deliciousness is two fold – the spread itself is addictively tasty, but the speculoos cookie that it’s made from is a revelation in itself. If your local grocery store doesn’t sell it and spending $15 on two jars is a totally reasonable idea to you, you can buy both the spread and cookies (I’m seriously considering purchasing the 10-pack of cookies) on Amazon.